Websites Should Be Like Ordering A Cheeseburger
Last night, I’m sitting at home—wasting time and space—watching some horrible movie on TV. My stomach began to rumble, growling up from the depths of itself, demanding substance. So I yell to my roommate:
“Hey man, dinner!”
He comes running down the hallway trying to get his shoes on, trips and slams into the wall, awesome. Anyway, I stand, put on my shoes and we leave the apartment. Now, what to eat? Minutes pass as we walk around trying to pinpoint our appetite. No pizza, no tacos, but a burger oh, that sounds perfect. We make the seven block northward hike to a local joint where you’re allowed to design your own cheeseburger. Seriously, what else could a person want? I know exactly what I’m getting. The only person I can be angry with, if I don’t like the food, is myself. And no way I’m making him angry.
Anyway, I know you’re dying to know what type of cheeseburger I Frankensteined. A half-pound, bleu cheese, smoked bacon, avocado, tomato, jalepenos, onion, pickle, mustard, with ham on top, monster. As I’m sitting there, punishing my stomach for demanding food ( I don’t think it wanted that much.), I start thinking about websites. Specifically, why don’t more websites cater to me like ordering a burger? I want my surfing or shopping experience to be as satisfying.
The Meat is Given
It better be, or I’m not getting my money’s worth. If you order a burger and no meat comes, you’re going to be angry. That reminds me: one night I headed to a Jack n the Box around 10:30 after a long day of work. I hadn’t eaten all day and was literally starving. I waited in line for twenty minutes, got my burger and drove home (I lived three blocks away and don’t like eating in my car.). Opening the wrapper, I took a huge bite. They’d put lettuce, pickle, mayo, tomato—all the fixings, but no patty on my supposed cheeseburger. I was too hungry to go back and complain, so I ate the meatless burger, but I never went back there. Point in case, if you give me a website with no content, I’m never ever coming back. Your site should have the basics. Products, about us, site map, contact and easy navigation. I shouldn’t spend ten minutes looking for what I want. Every site should have these things, just like every burger should have a patty, whether it’s vegetarian or meat.
Give me Cheeeeeese Choices
Cheese is so delicious, seriously, one of the greatest things on Earth. When I order a burger, I want tons of choices. I’m talking, Cheddar, Bleu, Swiss, Pepperjack, Monterey, Jack, American and Provolone cheese. That’s choice, also, let me combine them. I’d make a Bleu-Jack-Cheddar burger. A website, specifically an ecommerce site, should have this level of customization. If you’re a t-shirt site, have multiple colors, if you can’t do that at least suggest similar products I might like. Robust shipping options are key. Sometimes I need the product in two days, sometimes I can wait a week. Granted, most sites have this, but make the options clear and understandable. Registering a username and password should be up to me, not mandatory. That’s like forcing someone to have jalapeños on their burger, it’s not for everyone. Tropical Tantrum is a wonderful a site that understands what the customer wants and how to give it to them.
Lots ‘O Toppings
Toppings are the extra special part of a cheeseburger. They make it memorable. The more flavor the better. Experimenting with different condiments is the path towards cheeseburger Zen. Does your website have toppings? Well, that’s a stupid question, how can a website have toppings. Not literally, but where’s the extra? Do you have funny or informative videos (depending on your product/content)? Blog, tell me anything. If it’s interesting, you have got yourself a new subscriber. I’ll be honest, not everyone is going to read your blog, but the more routinely it’s done the better chances you have of gaining readership. Do you have Web 2.0 savvy employees? Get them on FaceBook and Twitter so I can interact with them. I’d like to know what your company is up to. I’d like to be your friend. All these little things are the extra parts that will keep me coming back to your website.
Make that Website Tasty
I designed my cheeseburger, and I know it’s tasty. But I didn’t design your website, so how do I know it’s any good? Well, so far my experience has been great (if you’ve listened to what I said above), good content (meat/patty), plenty of choices (the cheeeese) and great interaction (toppings), but what about the taste? When you send me my receipt, don’t auto-enroll me into your newsletter. If your sites interesting, I’ve definitely already signed up. But any emails beyond the receipt shouldn’t come automatically. As far as I’m concerned that’s spam. I should have to, I repeat have to, check a box asking for your emails. Let’s say you promise same day shipping, but it doesn’t get out. Shoot me an email with an explanation. Hey, I get it, we’re all human, things happen. That’s my reaction if you let me know. If you don’t, I probably won’t shop with you again. Simple fact: customers are finicky. Once the product arrives and I’m happy, I know your site is tasty. Guaranteed, like a good burger joint, I’ll be recommending it to everybody I meet.
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That’s all well and good if everyone liked cheeseburgers just the way you do. Unfortunately too many websites present their cheeseburger just the way the website operator likes their own which may not be right for me as a shopper.
I shop on a certain motorcycle paraphernalia website because they have certain hard-to-find items. The have EVERYTHING but they make me input my make, model and year to see all the clutch levers when I really just want to see ALL the clutch levers.
So they offer all the condiments but they never ask me “with or without onions”